You know when you were little, and people used to ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? If you think back, your answer was probably something that was actually not very likely to happen. (an astronaut, a rock star, or even a famous ballerina.) When asked I always proudly exclaimed that I was going to be a singer! I had no reservations, no second thoughts, it was the truth. I knew it like it was the gospel itself. The other day, a friend asked me what I want to do with my life, and I couldn't answer. I thought about the most logical response. While I sat in silence, my dad asked, "Don't you still want to be a singer? " I told them that I knew that would probably never happen, so there was no point in thinking about it.
My reaction to that conversation got me thinking why my goals are so different now. When you're young, you think you are unstoppable, and in many ways I still think that way, but why is it when it comes to what really matters, I settle. I gave up my dreams for what I can have now, instead of striving for that I disserve. After that conversation, my friend came over, and we played around my house. She made some Brazilian alcoholic beverage, and then we had a whole girly night. I did her hair and makeup, and she made me sing to her while I made her pretty. She called it The Singing Salon. It has been so long since I truly sang in front of someone.
Once in awhile in the karaoke bar, when the drinks are abundant, and the audience is half gone, I'll open up a little. Otherwise, I can belt it out in the car, and alone in the shower, but when people are around, I sensor myself. When I was younger, kids were mean because they took the singing as showing off, so I started being careful about who I sang around. Then it turned into a fear of messing up, or not being able to hit the note. Eventually I grew up, and my singing wasn't that important anymore. I had all of the opportunities, and didn't take full advantage of them. I went to the studio for numerous projects, and just let the moments pass me by, when I should have held on for dear life. My life should have been like The Singing Salon, but instead I've been silent. Is it too late to learn to have the faith of a child again? How do we not let Life effect our goals, and dreams? Everyone has a moment of clarity, when they see their selves, and want to change what we messed up about ourselves. I think this was mine.
I want to be a good photographer.
My reaction to that conversation got me thinking why my goals are so different now. When you're young, you think you are unstoppable, and in many ways I still think that way, but why is it when it comes to what really matters, I settle. I gave up my dreams for what I can have now, instead of striving for that I disserve. After that conversation, my friend came over, and we played around my house. She made some Brazilian alcoholic beverage, and then we had a whole girly night. I did her hair and makeup, and she made me sing to her while I made her pretty. She called it The Singing Salon. It has been so long since I truly sang in front of someone.
Once in awhile in the karaoke bar, when the drinks are abundant, and the audience is half gone, I'll open up a little. Otherwise, I can belt it out in the car, and alone in the shower, but when people are around, I sensor myself. When I was younger, kids were mean because they took the singing as showing off, so I started being careful about who I sang around. Then it turned into a fear of messing up, or not being able to hit the note. Eventually I grew up, and my singing wasn't that important anymore. I had all of the opportunities, and didn't take full advantage of them. I went to the studio for numerous projects, and just let the moments pass me by, when I should have held on for dear life. My life should have been like The Singing Salon, but instead I've been silent. Is it too late to learn to have the faith of a child again? How do we not let Life effect our goals, and dreams? Everyone has a moment of clarity, when they see their selves, and want to change what we messed up about ourselves. I think this was mine.
I want to be a good photographer.
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