take it back.

My heart is hurting. my last blog was about heartache. I said that heartache is not when you miss the one that you love, but more so when you cannot even find that person. I may have been wrong. I was so tired of being hard hearted, so I let down my guard, and it completely demolished my spirit. My hope came to a stop when he said its over. I begged him to take it back, like i was begging for my life. It was almost like I couldn't believe what was happening, like it was a bizzar dream. How could I hurt him so much? Inadvertently, he felt the wrath of something I had done before he came back into my life..

I pleaded for him to forgive me, but I couldn't make it go away. All i want to do is make him stop, and hear me. Hear what I am saying, and truly believe it. There is no way that I was so ready for this, and now its over. Even now, I can hardly believe it. I thought this was finally IT... I couldn't talk to anyone. nothing else even mattered. I found myself picking up the phone every couple of min hoping that my sobs had drowned out the sound of the rings. But nothing. He was not there, wanting to tell me that everything would work out. I was nearly convinced that he was joking. After hours of balling till I couldn't breathe, glancing at the phone, sending another text, and crying some more, I realized that he was gone.

And yes, he were gone.