where's the love?

When i was young, I was sure I knew Love. I felt it running through my veins. I saw it in action between my parents, and displayed with kind words, and silly gestures between me and my friends. But now, it seems I'm looking for it all of the time. It's like nothing is the same, my family, friends, all have lost their importance, because love is lost. Has Love changed, or have I forgotten how to recognize it? This week, I have conquered goals at work, and completed personal projects, but i'm still lacking. I stayed busy doing things that interest me, and came home to an empty room. I found out bad news and still kept my head up.

An old boyfriend contacted me, and I remained strong. Maybe that's the problem, I use too much head and not enough heart. Or maybe love is just around the corner, and I am holding out for it. For so long, I thought I had it all together, on the right path, but looking back, I have missed out on a lot of things that i wanted to do, because I thought too much. I thought I was being strong, doing "the right thing", but i'm starting to wonder if I was wrong.

Dose everyone have someone but me? I know a couple, that appears to be so in love. You would think that they are perfect for each other, but the truth is what is missing. If they were honest with each other, it all would have fallen apart a long time ago. There is no room for secrets in a true, love filled relationship, otherwise it is a plastic persona that never truly is realized. Maybe all of this babbling is not making sense to anyone but me. Maybe it is too much to ask for, to hope for someone to totally get me. To understand that love is missing, and help me find it. Or to help me recognize to again.

I can't make you love me, especially if you don't first love yourself. Depressional words, and cries out for help hiding in silence, being somebody else i still can't make you love me. I can't fix your problems even after all the times that i tried Sincere loving words, and nights that i cried wide open arms, to help pain subside I still can't fix your problems. I can't change the past every time i broke down, and built up again from you pushing me out, then letting me in the games that you played, that i couldn't begin. I still can't change the past.



PS : If you want me back now, then this better be it I CAN let it go, but i'll never forget. Just open your eyes and you'll finally see Cause I still can't make you love me.